Bottom of the Barrel, Top of the Heap

After leaving my wife and
blowing through all my settlement money
from the wreck that left me with my scar
I was down & out.
My best friend Monty and I got evicted from our apartment
and I ended up back at my father's house.
I had it all
a car
a job
an apartment
an envelope full of one hundred dollar bills
but that all
came to a screeching halt
and this new life began.
December of 2007.
For the first time in my life
I was put face to face
with the person I'd been running from
and trying to avoid the most,
myself.
Most people can't handle being isolated and alone
24 hours a day
7 days a week
for weeks on end.
But I had no other choice.
With no phone, computer, television, money or transportation
it was just me, myself, and I.
At first I was just cursing myself
for blowing all my money
losing my car/driver's license
and getting fired from my job at the group home.
The worst part being, that it was no one's fault
but mine
and now I had to pay the price.
And pay it I would.
I learned a lot about who I was
and what made me tick.
I had a nice suit
perfectly combed hair
new tattoos
a big screen HDTV
but not a dollar to my name or a friend to call upon.
I tried to get out as much as I could.
After two weeks straight of total isolation
I couldn't bear to just sit in that house anymore
from sunrise to sunset
it was driving me to the brink of madness.
So I pounded the pavement
put in applications
and tried to find work.
It was a brutal two weeks
of walking the dusty streets
everything in my small desert town
spread apart by miles and miles
of desert and abandoned shopping centers
applying anywhere and everywhere I could find.
But after two weeks
I still had nothing
Christmas came and went
and it was just before New Year's Eve
that I finally knew what I had to do.
There was a fifties themed diner
up by the mall
I knew I could get a job there as a server.
I had serving experience.
And picture perfect Elvis Presley-grade hair.
I knew it was a sure thing.
So I combed my hair right
pomped it up high
put on a pink collared shirt
black suit coat
slacks
and my blue suede shoes.
I walked in and the waitress standing at the counter
did a double take.
Her eyes were practically peeling my clothes off
those eyes, dark and smoldering
like Lisa Marie Presley.
So I hammed it up,
"Hey there, darlin'. Can I get an application?"
"Yeah! Of course! Let me get the manager."
And she ran off
her hips moving up and down
in that cute little black & white 50's dress.
She came back out a minute later
"Okay, she's on her way out. So what's your name?"
"I'm Danny."
"Ha ha ha! Like Danny Zuko!"
"Yeah, I reckon. What's your name pretty lady?" I asked, flashing a half-smile.
"I'm Ashley."
When the manager came out
she asked if I had served before
I told her I did and gave her the details.
The next question was just what I was hoping for
"When can you start?"
And just like that
everything changed
the solitude of the winter of '07
had finally come to an end.
From then on
it was milkshakes
grilled cheese sandwiches with pickles and fries
filling up the jukebox with CD's from my vast music collection
getting stoned and having sex
with the waitress Ashley
spending my own pocket change to hear Gene Vincent or Buddy Holly
boom throughout that 50's diner.
It was unbelievable how quickly everything turned around for me.
So the next time you think
things can't get any better
and you're stuck living in your own personal hell
don't worry.
Because in the span of just one day
you can wake up at the bottom of the barrel
and go to sleep at the top of the heap.