Scammin' The Scammers

I had no fucking clue what I'd done with it.
Abbie and I retraced our steps
through the Golfland parking lot
looking down in the shitty yellow light.
"Why don't you try calling it? Maybe somebody found it."
I used her phone
and sure as shit, someone answered.
"Hello?" I said.
And they hung up.
"Motherfucker!"
I sent a couple texts
politely asking for my phone back.
I got no response.
Then as we drove down the freeway
getting further away from the phone
and closer to home
it hit me.
"I got an idea."
I sent another text,
'$100 reward for anyone that finds my phone.'
A minute later
I got a call back.
It was a young Mexican kid
who said they were at Bookman's
and that they'd found it in the Golfland parking lot.
I told him I'd be right there.
Before I hung up
the kid asked about the hundred dollars.
I said, yeah sure.
When we pulled up to the used bookstore
it was an entire family waiting for us
Nana, Tata, Mom, Dad, and three kids of varying ages.
I got out of the car, a folded up bill in my hand.
Holding it out, the ten year-old boy took it
and gave me back my phone.
"Thanks." I said, turning back to Abbie's car.
When began to drive away
I saw him unfold the bill
his family crowded around
and when he opened it
seeing it was only a one dollar bill
I didn't feel the least bit bad about it.
Now you might say I'm cruel
and an asshole
but hey.
I didn't have money for another phone
and it wasn't theirs to begin with
so fuck them.