Girl From The North Country

Ever since I first laid eyes

on her

I liked her.

But we were just acquaintances

she was my friend’s, friend’s girlfriend.

We didn’t talk a whole lot

but she was always cool to me

and I was cool to her.

After she moved out of state

she came back for a visit

in 2008

one hot Arizona summer

and we ended up hanging out

through mutual friends.

Well, the next night

she asked me, if I wanted to go get a drink.

I could hardly believe it.

I had always  wanted just

a chance

to sit and talk with her

one on one.

And here it was.

Even though I had a casual-nothing-serious-girlfriend at the time

I willingly sacrificed our relationship

for just a shot

a drink.

We hit it off well

so well

we spent the rest of her time in Arizona

together

wrapped up in each other’s arms.

We had a blast.

Talking for hours

smoking weed

drinking Blue Moon’s

laying in bed naked

laughing at dumb shit together

having some of the best sex

just really enjoying ourselves.

And then she was gone.

Back to the Pacific-Northwest

where she called home.

Wasn’t too long after that

and she was shacked up

and eventually

a married woman.

All through the years

we stayed friends on social media

watching the milestones of each other’s lives

passing by with each year.

Ten years go by

and one night

around Christmas

I get a message from her;

“If you like Christmas stuff, you should see my parent’s place. I just got here

and it’s like Christmas threw up all over it.”

She asked me if I was free to

maybe

squeeze in a drink.

Saturday or Sunday

but it ended up being

that very night

a Friday

that we ended up getting together for a drink.

I took her to the G Bar G Lounge

basically,

a senior citizens/snowbird bar

on the outskirts of town.

She drank straight tequila and I sipped at a can of

ice cold

Old Style.

We leaned in and talked over the karaoke singers

catching up on a decade’s worth of history.

We went and had a smoke on the side of the building

came back inside

I sang ‘Mama Tried’, for old time’s sake.

After we paid the tab

we went back out

for another smoke

on the side of the building.

We had barely taken two drags of our cigarettes

when she started to say,

“Oh fuck it, let’s just get the awkward part out of—“

and I had already dropped my cigarette

both my hands

holding just behind her neck

as we kissed again

practically just melting into one another.

Her hand gripping into the back of my greasy hair

the two of us just going at it

like two teenagers at the drive-in.

Our hands grabbed onto one another

pulling closer

wanting to feel more.

“So…what are we gonna do about this?”

She asked, knowing damn well, I lived with my Mother

and didn’t have a private place for us to go.

I almost panicked.

Well

then I did.

So I said,

“Well, uh…what’s up with that backseat?” I asked.

“In my Mom’s car?” She said, laughing.

Then she made eye contact with me again

and I could see her now giving it

serious consideration.

I pulled her close to me

and kissed her again.

She sighed in my arms

and said,

“Okay, but where are we gonna park?”

I smiled.

“I know, just the place.”

Two miles away

we parked it in front of

my Father’s house

and jumped into the backseat.

We stripped off every article of clothing

and got right to it.

We eventually settled on

cowgirl

and I think that was a very

good choice

given our location.

When we finished

we lay naked

in the backseat for a moment

just panting and trying to catch our breath.

The back windows were all fogged up.

I laughed. “Oh shit. Fuckin’ Titanic…”

She smeared the fog on the window with her hand.

We both laughed

and kissed once more.

Two days later and she went back to Oregon

but we kept in touch

texting here and there

gradually, getting more and more

frequent and regular.

Sometimes she’d had a few at the bar

or would be on a really bad date

providing me with her commentary

throughout the day

and into some late nights.

Some of these late night texts

got pretty personal and real.

We vented and confided in one another.

It was really nice.

I really liked her.

So that made it that much more tempting

to go up North for a visit.

I found tickets

round-trip

for under two hundred bucks

and I bought em’.

The next three weeks

we were talking even more

all the time.

The days leading up my leaving

seemed to drag endlessly.

Even my co-workers knew how excited I was

the day I was set to leave

I was at work

the Dispatching Office

of an Auto Glass supplier

and my co-worker, Walter

a real funny Columbian guy

says,

“Hey, did you guys hear on the news today, they were saying how all

the flights to Portland were cancelled?”

I looked up for a split second, in panic

then saw the grin on his face

and we all laughed,

“Get outta here, foo!”

I said, almost blushing.

She got lost coming to pick me up

from the airport.

Wrong level.

I stood holding my bag over my shoulder

looking for a Subaru

but they were all Subaru’s.

She pulled up and I threw that bag down

like I had just come home from War

and I even kissed her like it too.

Time came to a slow crawl

our lips took their time

our arms were finally filled

with the one we wanted.

Then we were going down the freeway

I looked out the window

and marveled at all the

green.

“Holy shit! Look at those trees!”

I shouted, with all the wonder and excitement of a boy.

She laughed and drove me to her neighborhood bar

where we got a drink

met some people that she knew

and then went to her place.

The incline on the road up the driveway

was so steep

felt like going up a rollercoaster.

Almost like an omen

that rushing feeling in my gut

as the car accelerated up

into the driveway

stopping hard

just in front of the garage.

This was about to be

one helluva ride

but I had no idea

nothing could have prepared me

for what was about to take place

in that house

in her room

and on that bed.

And I’m not just talking about sex

I’m talking about all those

little moments in-between.

The looks

the talks

the kissing

holding onto each other in our sleep

we just connected on this whole

new level

and I think it scared the shit

out of both of us,

if I’m being honest.

Three days in

and I start getting these urges to say, ‘I love you’.

My brain began to argue with my heart

My brain screamed, “YOU DON’T WANT TO SAY THAT! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”

but my heart said, “I think, I do…”

So I said something about it.

How I was having to stop myself from

just blurting out, ‘I love you.’

She was crying

sad that I was leaving

and also just trying to process

or even

rationalize

these thoughts & feelings that she was having.

But she said it back to me.

Maybe even tried to save face a little later, saying,

“But love can mean many different things…”

“Yeah, yeah, totally…”

I agreed, lying.

We were both lying

more to ourselves than to each other.

By the time I landed back in Phoenix though

we both just came clean.

Confessed & pledged our love for each other.

And now it’s been one week since I got back

and she’s already planning another trip down  here

in a couple weeks

for a little weekend rendezvous

in a small desert town

away from everyone and everything else

just the two of us.

In May, she’ll come visit again

and then in the summertime

I’ll go see Oregon with her.

We’re making plans

we’re taking chances

but we’re doing it.

We’re the kind of people

that go for what they want

and what we want is each other.

So here we go.